How to Talk to Someone About Their Mental Wellness
Creating a Safe Space for Open Communication
The right environment sets the stage for a productive conversation. Here's how to prime the pump for open communication:
Choose the right time and place.
Find a private, quiet space where they feel comfortable and secure. Avoid public spaces or times when they might be rushed or stressed. Privacy fosters trust and allows for a more honest conversation.
Mind your own emotional state.
Approach the conversation when you're feeling calm and collected. Being overly emotional might cloud your judgment and hinder your ability to listen actively. Prioritize both their well-being and yours by being in a clear headspace to offer genuine support.
Express Concern with Care and Respect
How you initiate the conversation is crucial. Here's how to strike a balance between expressing concern and respecting their boundaries:
Use "I" statements
Focus on observations and feelings you've noticed, avoiding accusatory language. "I" statements help you express your concern without placing blame. For example, "I've noticed you seem withdrawn lately. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"
Instead of labeling their experiences, focus on what you've observed:
I've noticed you've been [specific behavior, e.g., sleeping more, eating less, withdrawing from social activities]. Want to talk about it?
You seem to be feeling [specific emotion, e.g., anxious, sad, angry] more often. Is there something causing these feelings?
I've noticed you've been [specific physical symptom, e.g., headaches, stomach aches, fatigue] more frequently. Is there anything causing this?
You seem to be having trouble [specific task, e.g., concentrating, making decisions, getting out of bed]. Is there something making it difficult?
Actively listen
This is about truly hearing them. Give them your full attention, make eye contact, and avoid interrupting. Show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings by using nonverbal cues like nodding to demonstrate you're engaged.
Validate their feelings
The stigma surrounding mental health is very real, and it's this very reason why people are hesitant to seek help. Fear of judgment, shame, or the feeling of needing to handle things alone can all stem from this stigma. To encourage open communication, acknowledge their worries and validate their feelings. Simple phrases like "That sounds tough" or "It's okay to feel that way" show you care and create a safe space for them to confide in you.
Offer support and resources
Sometimes, people might not know where to turn for help. Here's how you can offer support and resources:
Acknowledge the complexities of seeking help
Come prepared with some professional resources. Ask them if they’d be interested in exploring them together. Let them know it's a personal decision. Seeking professional help is a brave step, and you can be a source of encouragement. Explore alternative therapeutic options as well that might resonate with them such as yoga or social groups. Not everything therapeutic has to be therapy.
Respect boundaries and privacy
Don't pressure them to disclose more than they're comfortable with. Let them know it's okay to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy develops trust and encourages open communication in the future.
Follow up and know when to seek further help
Maintain communication
It’s important to show concern, but also not be over-involved or over-protective. There’s a difference.
Check-in regularly and offer ongoing support. Reiterate your commitment to being there for them and encourage them to reach out whenever needed. Consistent support reminds them they're not alone in their struggles.
Recognize your limitations
While your support is valuable, there might be situations where professional help is necessary. If the person is in crisis or poses a safety risk, calling emergency services is crucial. Consider seeking support groups or programs for yourself as well, as supporting someone can be emotionally taxing.
Remember
Starting a conversation from a place of care and concern, you can open the door to them seeking the help they need. Patience, compassion, and a clear head are crucial for supporting someone. While you cannot "fix" their problems, your unwavering support and a listening ear can provide the strength and comfort they need to navigate their challenges.
If you're unsure where to start, you can find resources and support for yourself and your loved one at the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website: National Alliance on Mental Illness.
